There's this weird thing about pregnancy... it goes by so fast, and yet incredibly slow. Everyone says it, and it's totally true. You take a pregnancy test, everything changes, and then suddenly you have a baby in your arms. At least after your baby comes, that's all that really matters. But there is a long road of growing and testing that happens in that 40 or so weeks-- on top of whatever happens in your "real life" at that time. You keep working, keep stressing, keep feeling, keep BEING.
I feel like no time has gone by since I got that positive pregnancy test back in late March. But so much HAS happened. We moved. My baby turned two and just seemed to start talking overnight. We had a ton of company. My beloved Grandmother passed away on August 9, that was heavy. I haven't decided if I'm going to share that grieving process in this space.. still too fresh. But I will say, that my Grandma was one of the people I am most close to, and each day when I reach for the phone to call her, I am reminded of this terrible void in my life. She is missed beyond measure. In the final moments I held her sweet 89 year old hand, my new baby girl was kicking me. I'm 29 years old, expecting my second child, and holding vigil over a woman who practically raised me. So this was goodbye. It was a surreal and sweet reminder of this new baby girl and how surrounded I am by the circle of life. I'm still navigating the murky waters of grief, but Motherhood sustains me. I think focusing on Bennett and the pregnancy might've saved me in some way.
And now here I am, crossing into the third trimester. We still have plenty to do in terms of getting ready, so I am in no rush. My "to-do list" is literally 2 pages long with at least 100 items. I am trying to soak in these last moments of my baby boy being my one and only, he is so precious to me. I wonder what it means for both of us, and for my husband to add a new face to our daily mix. But let's be real... I'm getting REAL big, feeling real hot, and starting to get just a little uncomfortable. When the time comes, I will be more than ready.
Bring it baby girl.