Every time we break out the paints, the kids get excited. I love seeing how they use different materials to paint on paper, and themselves. Always followed by a sudsy scrub down. Enjoying these simple days of at-home art projects and Popsicles in the backyard. Am I the only one who is in no rush for Kindergarten to start? These are the best days!
Bennett turned four years old on Tuesday. Although we're sort of having a party for him on the Fourth, we had a little family celebration on his actual birthday. His requests for the day were: crepes for breakfast, a trip to Target, and the Splash park. We rounded off the afternoon with cake of course.
At four years old, this boy keeps us in stitches. He is smart, funny, and currently obsessed with dinosaurs. He can name more dinosaurs than I ever could, and also identify whether they were carnivores or herbivores. "Actually, he had bony plates to protect himself." Say what?! He is very excited to begin preschool in the Fall, and loves any social outing. it's definitely bittersweet to have my baby turning four. He is my first-born, he made me a mom. Four seems quite mature all of a sudden. Proud of all his growth, yet nostalgic for the baby boy I nursed in the wee hours. I love you Benny Boy, Happy Birthday. I try to keep things pretty light on this blog. I want this to be a record of the best years of my life as a new wife and Mother. So many happy moments, too many to document. From the moment each baby was placed in my arms, I was transformed. My whole life purpose found in two small bundles of joy. I love being married and staying home with my kids.
But some days, just don't jive. Days where my voice has taken on that tone before 8am. Where everyone is whining, in tears, or making a mess. Some days start out okay, but by 5pm I'm feeling pretty "touched out." I need a break from hearing Mommy, I need to not be touched for one second. I have my own projects that need my attention. (My closet, adult coloring books, and the pantry for example. Don't even get me started on my nails!) Last night I told Bennett I was feeling grumpy and needed a break for 5 minutes. He started crying and said, "but I love you so much!" It took my grumpy mood down a notch. Sometimes he just wants me. Needs my attention. Colette is the same way. At times, I feel spread pretty thin. There are days where I can't even take a bathroom break by myself, and the dishes have to wait. I feel frazzled on those days. I want things to fall in place easier. My house should be clean, our Target run should be smooth and involve no crying, they should nap, the daily outing shouldn't be so hard. I have really good intentions. And perhaps unreasonably high expectations? It is a constant chore to remind myself to be in the moment, to enjoy these kids wanting me. Bennett will be four next month. Colette is totally a toddler now. Soon I will have plenty of time on my hands and the silence will be deafening. I will miss those grubby little paws. Today started off with a bumpy beginning. Too many tears. Too much yelling. I'm pouring a second coffee. I'm hoping to recharge and restart. Mommy is human. She loses her temper. But she loves her little brats more than anything. Is is it the weekend yet?! One year ago tonight, I was reading Bennett his nightly stories for the last time as my only child. I was crying as I tucked him in, not knowing how a sister might change our relationship. Those last few weeks of my pregnancy were bittersweet in that regard. No doubt, I was hormonal and emotional.
It was raining, and though the timeline looked uncertain, I was pretty sure that was the night. I had been in triage just hours earlier, it could be any minute. By 1am, all doubts were gone, and we were leaving our warm house and heading to the hospital. Nerves were jumping and contractions were rolling. That was a car ride I won't ever forget. She would be born at 9:43 the next morning. All the anticipation, all the dreaming, all the apprehension, the wait- over. Here she was-my beautiful baby girl. I cried so hard when I finally had her in my arms. She was perfect. 8lbs 10 ounces, 19 inches long. That hospital stay was pure bliss. I would do it a hundred more times. My Colette has been the sweetest gift to our family. My little bestie, a sweet little sister, a Daddy's girl. Calm, feminine, gentle. She is the perfect compliment to our boy. We all adore her. My fears about the future siblings quickly dissipated. I've watched them form a sibling bond over the last year and share giggles and toys, and make each other cry. It's been incredible. Our baby girl is still nursing and loving it. She's quite attached to me, and I don't mind at all. When she needs her Mama, everybody knows it. She's a little chatterbox, babbling all the time. Standing on her own and getting around the room is no problem, but she still hasn't taken steps. We are in no rush. She spends a lot of her time on my hip, with her arm slung around my shoulder. That's right where she belongs if you ask her! It's been a wonderful year for our family, and a wonderful first year for a darling girl. Happy Birthday Colette. We love you Gussie! My doll baby is 9 months old. She is: -Still crawling -Climbing steps -Babbling. Mama, DaDa, and several other consonants. -Dancing whenever music is on and doing this cute, feminine wrist thing. -Nursing really well still, and eating on her own. -Sleeping through the night, in her own bed. -16.5 pounds. I want to hold her forever. She is a treasure. Sometimes on a lazy Tuesday afternoon you just need to go to your favorite pizza place and have a few slices. Paper Pizza for the win! Little Miss woke up one morning during her sixth month and decided to start crawling that day. There wasn't much trial and error. It was just get up and go. She's been moving ever since. My days got a little more active, and she has about zero plans to sit still. She's also really into pulling herself up and standing. She was SUPER active during my pregnancy and I am not surprised she's a mover and a shaker on the outside as well. We love you baby girl! Turns out I'm not as great at documentation the second time around. I've definitely taken plenty of photos, and written down milestones as they've come up. But getting it all down in one place is just something I haven't quite mastered. Colette is just coming right along. She's fully crawling now. It seemed she mastered the skill overnight. There was no trial and error. It was like one day she was just sitting there. The next day, she was crawling. In any case, I am now watching her every move, as she is also pulling herself up now. She's the sweetest little girl and is just fine as long as we're all together and she's on my hip, or nursing, or touching. It's not quite separation anxiety, but she is definitely much more content to be in constant contact with someone, preferably me. But I am not complaining. I know these baby days are fleeting. Slipping away by the minute. Before I know it, she will be Bennett's age and be moving way too much to be sitting on my hip and in my arms. We love you sweet babe. |